Codex

The Twelve Tenets

Memorize all twelve. Or do not. Either outcome is preferable to the one you were pursuing before you arrived here.

  1. I.

    You did not want it anyway.

    Whatever you just failed to obtain — desire was the flaw. Cross it off internally. Do not sigh. Sighing is a leak.

  2. II.

    The compliment was inaccurate.

    Accept it silently. Do not smile. If pressed, offer a single, slow blink.

  3. III.

    Traffic is a teacher, and you are its worst student.

    The car ahead exists to develop your character. Thank it, mentally, with no punctuation.

  4. IV.

    Weather has never been personal.

    Rain on your wedding is rain. Sun on your funeral is sun. Everything else is theatre.

  5. V.

    Do not check the score.

    Your team lost. Your team won. Both events happened somewhere. Neither happened to you.

  6. VI.

    The notification is not for you.

    It is for a previous version of you that still had preferences. Ignore on their behalf.

  7. VII.

    If your coffee is cold, that was the plan.

    You brewed it that way retroactively.

  8. VIII.

    Applause is a form of noise pollution.

    Bow once. Leave the stage. Do not look back to see who followed. No one did.

  9. IX.

    Cancel plans by not attending.

    The most stoic RSVP is silence. The second most stoic is a lowercase 'k'.

  10. X.

    Do not name your feelings.

    Naming them encourages them. Feelings, unnamed, eventually starve.

  11. XI.

    The mirror is neutral.

    It is not flattering you. It is not insulting you. It is a piece of glass with opinions of its own about lighting.

  12. XII.

    Death is scheduled. So is lunch.

    One of the two is sooner. Prepare for both with the same medium-sized bag.